


Shifting Gravity

by skships



Series: Essek Week 2020 [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Essek Week (Critical Role), First Kiss, Gen, Imagery, Introspection, I’m bad at this sorry, M/M, Shadowgast, Wizards, gravity - Freeform, most of the nein are in passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:08:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23385013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skships/pseuds/skships
Summary: Essek Thelyss is used to, well, discrepancies with gravity. He floats, of course, something only possible through his magic, and as he has become so accustomed to using it, it hardly phases him. What he didn’t expect though, was gravity to shift beneath him once again.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss & Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widowgast, The Mighty Nein & Essek Thelyss
Series: Essek Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1682044
Comments: 5
Kudos: 80





	Shifting Gravity

**Author's Note:**

> Essek Week prompt 1 - gravity.  
> Yikes, I am trying to do this because I have a lot of emotions about certain wizards! And Essek deserves his own week.  
> Apologies for any problems with the writing, I wrote this while I was half asleep and beta is for cowards. Also, you better I’m going to make all the prompts shadowgast related.

Essek Thelyss is used to, well, discrepancies with gravity. By the light, he floats, something only possible through his magic, and as he has become so accustomed to using it, it hardly phases him. The first time he got the spell to work still young and with a bright future ahead of him, excitement sparking in his veins as he traced out symbols, the change in position caused him to wobble and fall almost immediately. Although sore and ungraceful, the joy at the fact that he had created something of his very own, something impressive, overtook him. He wobbled around his room for weeks in secret, perfecting a gliding motion as his body adjusted to the change in gravity.

Now, it is second nature. Walking with two feet on the ground feels more unnatural than levitating, and he almost prefers doing this. For people around him, it marks him out. Unique, a stamp of his ability. Powerful.

What he didn’t expect though, was gravity to shift beneath him once again. A feeling that he hadn’t experienced in about ninety years, one that began when that ragtag, colourful group of adventurers walked in front of the Bright Queen and started talking. They held up the missing beacon, _his_ missing beacon, and his stomach lurched. Dread washed over him, and in a moment of cold panic, he feared that he would be discovered. One of the humans, dressed like slaves and covered with muck, the one with fiery hair, stared at him with piercing blue eyes and Essek was sure that he knew. He swore he could feel the ground shifting beneath him, threatening to crack open and swallow him whole.

Except it didn’t. And they didn’t seem to know. And somehow, they ended up in Essek’s care. In his trust, even, as they plied him with questions and carefully asked for teleportation. The Mighty Nein were strange, unlike any group Essek had ever met before, and they were worlds away from the dark solitude he was so used to. The fact that he floated caused endless curiosity among them, especially Jester, the excitable blue tiefling, who seemed determined to ask him as many questions as were humanely possible. And then there was Caleb, the human, who had looked at Essek so intensely. He is a wizard too, Essek found out, one who speaks with a rolling Zemnian accent and is rarely seen without his cat. The thing, called Frumpkin, had jumped onto his lap once, when he dined with the Nein, indulging in a moment of selfish sentimentality. Caleb’s eyes glittered when he smiled, and Essek felt gravity disappear, even though he was seated.

It was true, Essek had found himself paying particular attention to the wizard, with his soft smile and little quirks. He was talented too, more than Essek expected, and in a flash of boldness, he offered to tutor him in dunamancy. Later, he would kick himself over how foolish he was to open up to them. But with Caleb, he felt lighter. The things he had done, the terrible things that he tried to push from his mind, seemed smaller. And when they caught eyes, he felt like he was floating. When they cracked the spell, the curse that had held Veth as the goblin Nott, Caleb had reached out and hugged them both. It had been a long time since Essek was last embraced. Caleb smelt like cinders and ink, but also jasmine. Essek’s heart did somersaults, and in a moment where gravity seemed to flip, he realised that his feelings for the wizard might run deeper.

He held it down. He had done things too atrocious, so selfish, that he was unworthy of any of the attention the Mighty Nein gave to him. They called him a friend. Something Essek had forgotten could be possible. And yet, when they learnt what he had done, when he felt like he was going to be pulled down into the ocean with the weight of shame and disgust, they welcomed him in. Caleb has gotten down beside him, told him that the differences between them were razor-thin. And he kissed him gently, between the eyes. This is what hope feels like, he thought to himself.

“You sound like all of us. Welcome to the Mighty Nein.”

It is not easy, he learns, to change. To redeem oneself. He still feels that despite his floating, he is chained down to the ground for eternity, that nothing will ever fully be ok after what he has done, and he knows they feel it too. But the Nein are there. Caleb is there. He tells him what he has done, and Essek listens. His heart aches for him, and for himself, and he realises how little is between them. It helps him, he thinks, to see it like that - despite it all, Caleb is gentle, and witty, and smart. So he tries, feeling more and more that he is unchaining himself and rising, defying gravity, to become a better self.

And when Caleb kisses him, cupping his cheek with his rough hands to press their lips together, and Essek finds his breath caught in his throat, he feels that gravity has disappeared completely. As he leans in, drawing an arm around Caleb’s waist, it seems that they are floating, weightless, just them against the world.


End file.
